Monday 28 December 2009

Glue was good...

Scandalizing people was quite a favorite pastime of his but sometimes, like now, he let go of himself.

He was sitting atop his favorite rock, overlooking the sea. It was late afternoon and there was still a slightly warm touch to the wind that blew in persistent little circles around him. He wasn’t wearing his usual attire. A plain blue jeans and white shirt was all that covered his body, hardly offering any protection against the natural elements. Not that he cared much about that. He wasn’t exactly vulnerable to such things.

But even Arcade wasn’t immune to everything. There was a part of his steady heart that was vulnerable to a lot of pain. But not today… Today it was beating strongly; beating a seldom-indulged little wish.

She is so stupid… he was smiling as he thought about it, about her. He wasn’t even bothered to think what it meant: him thinking about her like this, so peacefully. He didn’t care if he knew it already. Today was one of those rare days when he didn’t mind letting all guard down. There was no one around for him to put up a show anyway.

Oh, if only she knew…what would she say? I am her closest friend. Friends don’t…

Don’t what? Love? That’s not right…

What, now I’m saying I love her??

Arcade laughed softly; an almost quiet chuckle. So what if I do…I’m happy just…being. Being like this, being someone she loves as a friend. It makes me feel so good, inside…he lifted his face to the sun, squinting for a moment and then closing his eyesit’s like a secret that no one can take from me…talk about me, my clothes, my language, my attitude, anything, everything you think you know…

Talk what you will…

I know what I have to do…and now, I have this feeling with me…so, it’ll be easier…Arcade knew that when the sun set, he would get off the rock and head back home. He knew that he’d sleep and wake up the next morning as if the evening-date with the deep, deep sea never happened. He’d wake up as the Arcade everyone knew him to be.

But it wasn’t something to be sad of. There was no need or place for that. He wasn’t living two lives. He was living one life, one bit a time. And besides, he’d be back again next week. Same time, same place, same thoughts…

Those weekly hours spent in the company of grey rocks, moss, water and his thoughts were like glue holding the rest of his nomadic existence together.

A slow, lazy smile crossed his upturned face. And glue was good…

Wednesday 23 December 2009

RIP 'POPIE'

You know that finally, that’s where you’re headed to. It’s where your road leads to. And along that road is your destiny. That journey, what you make of it, the song you sing as you walk along is what your destiny is. but there’s stuff left to do and I think you’ll try and finish it, you know…you’ll look up and sigh and think ‘just a little while longer, love…I’ll be home soon…just gotta complete this’

Did you really complete your life?? I can’t believe that. I know you wanted to live. I know because I know the people you left behind. I know because I learnt of you as if you were standing and breathing next to me from them, from her. Still can’t believe you’re gone. You were taken. It’s only fair that they at least get the strength to accept it.

‘Gone to God, be good about it’ they say. I say no. when someone dies, kick up a fuss, be bad about it…take your time in getting to accept it, then accepting that you’ll have to move on.

Didn’t get to drink tea with you. Too bad, huh? Heck, I hardly even know you. All I know is that this amazing girl whom I love so much loves you. Never got to rag you guys about it.

pg's 'P O P I E'
RIP

Wednesday 2 December 2009

KISSED BY A DREAM


Touched by your life

I was kissed by a dream

I glimpse you know

Your memory moulds my life-stream

 

An upturn of your lips

My world's downright nice

Just to watch you sleep

I'd stay up all night

 

Do you know

The sunshine glow

In my heart

When you're close?

Just close my eyes

And let go, everything goes

Everything comes around to you

 

I'm kissed by a dream

I'm kissed by your dream

I'm awake in all my dreams because of you

 

On the banks of this river

Are two different views

But the water's a life giver

We'll meet very soon

 

I have known the peace of love

And the tumult too

They complete each other

Like the sun and the moon

And in their collected beam

I hold hands with you

I'm kissed by a dream

And so are you…

Every Now and Then...

Things get difficult.

But that is only because you can handle it. I wish to believe that we are not faced with problems we cannot solve.

I'm not there yet, but I believe I'm on the way. I'm a lot stronger now: I have overcome a lot of the fears and insecurities and I no longer carry them with me every waking minute of my life. But I'm not strong enough yet…

 

Physically, I'm pretty messed up and I'm not sure how much of that is psychological.

If you'd ask me, I'd say not much. Not because I'd rather it not be psychological.

I just know. And you can see some of the times, especially if you're a little low on luck. Like my mother is.

But most of the times you can't and people look at you weird.

Teachers think you're lazy; you're making excuses, that you pay too much attention to yourself. Friends think you'd rather not spend time with them, that you're proud and haughty and so will not move, act, or play like them.

It's okay though.

You're the only one living your life and you know what's true and what isn't about it.

I'm fighting this, trust me, I so am.

I'm going to be stronger. I'm going to excel in my field.

Maybe not right away, but I am.

So what if I have to wait for a while, so long as I get there eventually?

So what if I have weaknesses that my counterparts don't?

I have my strengths too.